Patty Mullins, administrative assistant to the president, had her plan to prank the entire campus through e-mail thwarted by today's announcement.
Officials declared St. Bonaventure University a prank-free zone for April Fool’s Day Wednesday in light of the nation’s economic recession, leaving several diabolical plans thwarted.
“We do not believe that now is the time to pull practical jokes on each other,” said Colton Crosswire, university spokesman. “Let today be a reminder that in hardship, only hard work will get us anywhere. Not jokes.”
Crosswire’s announcement left several wannabe pranksters dumbfounded.
“Hey, it’s not like we were gonna destroy property or anything,” said sophomore Megyn Volchok, a theater major. She and a group of friends had planned to take as many forks as possible from Hickey Memorial Dining Hall. “I don’t see how the administration can ban fun, even for a day.”
Senior Quentin Forrest said the announcement thwarted his mission to Dixie-cup English professor Rindy Morrison’s office.
“I even had the bucket of water and everything all ready,” Forrest, an English major, said. “Now what am I supposed to do with 1,000 Dixie cups and this bucket?”
Students weren’t the only ones left out in the cold following the university’s announcement.
Legendary prankster Percy LaFerris, an assistant professor of Spanish, said he was disappointed, but he’d save his plan until next year.
Patty Mullins, assistant to university president Sr. Margaret Carney, had to throw her prank into her e-mail’s virtual trash can.
“I was all set to send out a ‘Special Notice Board from the President’ e-mail,” Mullins said of her plan. “It was to the whole university community and it specified that on-campus bathrooms would only be open today from 2 to 3 p.m. And everyone would have to take potty breaks in alphabetical order.”
One rebellious prankster went ahead with her prank despite the university’s announcement. She placed several large “For Sale” signs along Route 417 near the main and Francis entrances to the university.
“Hey, it was all in good fun,” said the senior, who asked to have her identity withheld for fear of retribution. “At this point, laughing and alcohol are the only things that keep me sane.”
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